Hushed

Going through sexual abuse as a child, keeping it hidden from every other soul she knew… it wasn’t something she was proud of, it wasn’t something she wanted to be pitied about and it definitely wasn’t something she wanted to remember.

She  was constantly taught to be a strong girl! Slowly the being strong turned to hiding her feelings. She could now not express her feelings or tell someone how important they are to her because in case they decide to leave she has to be strong again. She seemed to be a cold heartless person, which she wasn’t.

It was until a man came in her life, and she was head over heels over him. Ofcourse he didn’t know that because she could never express it.  Years later the love turned to hate, the little quirks that were adorable now were plain irritating. And then the horror came to face her again, although this time not the physical kind but of verbal. The relationship turned abusive and forced her to doubt herself for still being equally head over heels for him, she now steals some moment alone everyone to cry. The nights are sleepless. She feels weak. She feels not so confident. She hates herself for letting him abuse her over and over again. And yet she will put up a big smile on her face in the morning and look for those blissful stolen moments when she can be her vulnerable self.